I'm Sorry, are You Stupid?

Current mood: savage
It still amazes me that there are things which amaze me about human behavior. There is no end to the stupid things people say and do at the expense of others and that is really starting to piss me off. Another thing which amazes me is that I have exercised such tremendous strength in fighting off my urge to beat the living shit out of the people who do and say stupid things at the expense of others. I've had enough and now, I'm bringin' it. Watch out. Oh, and the stressed out husband will be at the center of the matter as well. Someone will pay. Someone will be uncomfortable.
Nolan has ALWAYS had a problem with self-esteem. He gets gigged a lot by a lot of people. I tell his teachers that he is a good kid with high maintenance needs in the classroom. When he is bored, he is trouble. When he is emotional in any way (positive or negative), he is trouble. Keeping him focused and on-task and quiet are challenges. And no, he doesn't have ADD. But, he is a good kid. I know it may not seem that way from what I've said, but he is. And, even more important, he has a HUGE, easy to break heart.
Several weeks ago, things got bumpy at school for him. He'd been being teased at school incessantly since the year began by tons of kids. He didn't tell us for a long time. They were teasing him about his weight. He was getting into fights and not taking responsibility for his actions and he even told us that he felt like he had no control over anything.
All this happened right around the time the kids saw the pediatric gastroenterologist for their diagnosis of Celiac's Disease. After meeting with this dumbass doctor, we learned that the tests run on the kids and I are actually not reliable tools for diagnosis as 25% of all tested have false negative results and that the truest test would be for me to have genetic testing. If my tests were to come back positive, then the kids would be tested for accurate diagnosis. My results still aren't in, but we are eating wheat and other gluten-containing grains in moderate quantities. What is actually more important about this visit to the doctor is what he said and did to my kids. He told Amanda to lose 40 pounds. Yes, 40. She's nearly 5'3" and losing 40 pounds would take her below 100 pounds. We have worked a lot on helping her develop a healthy body and a healthy opinion of her body. She's 14, she's still growing, she is active and she doesn't need the hit this guy took out on her. While examining Nolan he began to poke his belly a la Pilsbury Doughboy and tell him that, "Your only problem is that you need to lose this fat tire around your middle." "Your guts are full of crap and if you don't take care of yourself you'll always be fat because you eat crappy food." "You'll never be successful in football if you can't get fast and you can't get fast if you stay fat." Yes, he did. Nolan was in tears before we even got to the door of the room we were in as we left. I later made a huge complaint with the hospital. He got dealt with. Now, that said, I don't know of too many families who eat as healthfully as we eat. But, whatever.
*We've been eating better as a family. At this point, Nolan has grown almost an inch and a half since the second week of October (when his official weigh in was noted by the doctor) and he has lost six pounds.
Obviously, my boy's self-worth was in the crapper. Hence, he was frustrated. Therefore, he was confused. Thus, he began to take control by asserting himself in whatever way possible. That begat fighting, which begat suspension, which begat attitude with parents and peers, which begat ugliness every day. He felt like the teachers there were out to get him because they were not necessarily tolerant of him and the more trouble he got into, the worse the classroom situations were. And the cycle began again. And he felt like he had no one, adult-wise, who believed in him or would take up for him at school.
Once the fat teasing was brought to the attention of the administration of his school, they offered to help him work on his challenges with the counselor. They also promised us and Nolan that the adults he came into contact with were there to help him feel safe and protected. They asked our family to trust them enough to know that they would take care of problems if he would seek them out when those problems came about. He did, and for the most part, they have too. Things have slowly gotten better at school and home.
Today Nolan came home from band practice and said, "Oh, guess what Mom?" I asked him, "What?" to which he replied that he had an issue with his class' intern. So I then asked him what had happened. He proceeded to tell me that shortly after lunch recess was over the class had gone back to the room with Mr. Fodfriguez (you know how I am about names). At that time, Nolan said he had seen some chocolate candy in the inside pocket of his jacket, so he asked him, "Hey, Mr. Fodfriguez, is that chocolate for us?" Mr. Fodfriguez then said to Nolan (in front of the full class), "Why would it be for you guys when you (indicating Nolan) need to go on the Jenny Craig diet and lose some weight?" The entire class then laughed. Nolan put his head down and began to read his book. A short time later, Mr. P. (the actual teacher) returned to the room. When he did, Nolan asked if he could speak to him in private. Mr. P. said yes and took Nolan to the hall. Nolan then told him what had happened with Mr. Fodfriguez, to which Mr. P. replied that it was not fair for Mr. Fodfriguez to say what he did and that he would talk to him about it. At that point he asked Mr. Fodfriguez to go to the hall and a few minutes later Mr. P. returned to the classroom and Nolan went to the hall with Mr. Fodfriguez, when he then apologized to Nolan by saying, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Let's go back in and start over." And they did return to the classroom at that point.
Yes, he did.
I hugged my boy and told him that Travis and I would take care of it. I also told him I was proud of the way he handled himself in the situation and that he had nothing to be ashamed of. I called Travis who told me to let the administration know that we were going to the district with the problem and that we would meet with them as a courtesy before doing so. Travis wants to pursue an EO complaint and to seek out any punnishment possible for Mr. Fodfriguez. After I did some thinking, I realized that as a student teacher, he likely attends UTEP. UTEP has a College of Education and therefore must have a Dean of that college. I am going to take this to the Dean. I want this dweeb to feel this one for years. I hope this does prevent him from obtaining a teaching job. I hope this prevents him from ever even having the opportunity to injure another kid.
So, Mr. Fodfriguez, you don't have to like my kid, but you do have to teach him. You don't call the shots here. In fact, the school and even the district don't call the shots anymore either. This time, Travis and I call the shots and you screwed up. There is no tool to quantify the gallactic issue you've brought about. I hope you never forget that you hurt my kid. I hope you never forget that hurting a kid means that kid's parents will want to hurt you. AND, I hope you choke on our names every time you think of them. Bastard.
Tomorrow morning, Travis and I will be at the school once PT is over. We will inform the Principal, the Assistant Principal and the Counselor of the day's events (we have a written statement) and our course of action. Then we will call the district office to begin a formal complaint at that level. If I have the chance tomorrow I will be calling UTEP. If not, I'll take care of it Monday. We are looking into all the possibilities. Trust me, we ain't letting go.
You see, we owe it to the kid to be as rowdy as he can get as a reward for his perfect behavior.