Congratulations, You've Really Accomplished Something Now

Current mood: distraught

Seems my blogs are all centering around one thing at this point. Lo siento. I think it might have something to do with bearing the brunt of the majority of familial parenting these days, but here I go again. Throw proper grammar techniques out the window for now, too late, too pissy and to insomnious (is that even a word?).

Peeing on a stick. Many of us have done this. Some in a shameful embarassed manner in a gas station bathroom with a nervous boy outside. Some secretly in our own homes prior to bursting through the bathroom door to announce the glee to the donor (or whatever you want to call him). Some after careful planning. Some on secret-purpose. Regardless of our circumstance, peeing on a stick does not predicate parenting.

We've all heard before about fathers and real men and daddies, so I'll not quote that here. But, it is so true. Merely planting the seed doesn't really mean much, much the same as incubating doesn't catapult you into the upper eschelons of mommyhood. The only mothers who should get mothers' day cards are those who have earned them. Just like the only kids who should get a gold star from the teacher for the day are the kids who have earned them. Just like the only kids who get a big trophy when the baseball season is over should be the kids on the team who won the most games. Give the rest a certificate and a coupon for a free ice cream cone from the dairy queen and move along. If you want a trophy, work harder next year.

I guess our world is too ensconced in making everyone feel special to realize special is a feeling one should earn.

I earn my special. I earn it when I make a dinner one of my kids or my husband particularly enjoys. I earn it when I got more mileage out of a tank of gas than I have in ages. I earn it when my house looks how I like it or when I do something nice for someone else.. I get my special in a lot of ways. I don't want you to tell me you think the jello I made tastes good if you think it more closely resembles the dried up mayonnaise at the curve in the top of the jar than it does a globular green mass of sweet goodness. If you don't like it just shut up and quietly throw out your plate. Done deal. But if you think my jello rocks the free world like a Neil Young song, say so and I'll have earned another ray of special in my day. How did you earn yours today?

Parenting is a job which never ends. Right now it is almost 2am and I am doing laundry. I am doing laundry because I cannot sleep for many reasons. I am doing laundry also because I need to get it out of my way. I need to get it out of my way so I can move other things around so I can lay the rest of the regular tiles the way I must to make way for the tiles I must cut to fill in the gaps left by the regular tiles so I can get the baseboards I need so I can cut them and put them in place and then paint both them and the walls so the laundry room will be done so I can start working on the baseboards in the hallway so they can in turn be painted so then I can also paint the rest of the trim and the doors and then the walls so I can then finish painting outside and fixing the siding and then I can move the furniture around to the other rooms to make rooms look huge for when the realtor comes so we can get the house on the market to sell the thing so I can HAVE MY FAMILY ALL TOGETHER IN ONE PLACE AGAIN! Because that will be good for me and my kids. both of them

when one of them stubs their toe, I will help them while the other watches, helps as well or has no frigging clue what is going on. When the other one is puking in the bathroom I will help them while the other one plays Wii like a fiend. Point being here is that if you have more than one kid, you help the one that needs it at the moment, if one needs it. While you help that one, you also have to keep in mind the best interest of the other(s). You cannot pick and choose which of your kids you will serve today. Sorry, don't work that way. If you spend you life turning your back on one or more in favor of something or someone else, you suck.

If you have five kids and you choose two of them to parent reasonably well, you still are failing as a parent. You still are only doing 40 % of your job as a parent, on a good day, when you parent your chosen ones perfectly. are you seeing my point here? I swear to you my fingers are yelling right now as I type.

if and when your kids become adults and begin to make decisions for themselves, you don't get to not like what they do if you never taught them what it is that you expect from them. If you have made them emotionally fragile in whatever way you don't get to keep trying to call the shots for them when they want to take their existence in another direction. in fact some of us wont even care if you are sad about the decisions your adult kids make. Maybe they want more for themselves than you wanted for yourself. Is that a problem?

When you crap on them, expect that they will at some point crap back. Don't play the stupid card when it happens. No one will care. When they crap back don't be surprised. Understand that they are reacting in the exact way you taught them to throughout their childhoods. And you suck. don't complain.

value who your kids are. just for the fact that they exist, not for their idolatry of you. Sadly enough, they are still likely, after all the crapping, to in one way or another, to idolize you. so sad.

choosing some children over other children is also wretched. I am not talking about letting one sit in the front seat and then switching out on the next trip. I am talking about all the freaking time.

don't complain about their presence and then whine when they aren't there.

Treating some like useless trash while not the others really shows your soul to the world.

and I hope the Phoenix will rise of the ashes into the greatness he deserves

Currently listening : Phoenix By Dan Fogelberg Release date: 2008-03-01