Wrap Rap

Current mood: Wrapped up

That time has come. We must make our Christmas presents pretty for under the tree. Have I mentioned before that sometimes I really hate wrapping? Sometimes I think it is very fun. Other times I develop PTSD.

When I was about my daughter's age, 15, my mother was working full-time and hated having to wrap gifts. So, she came up with a solution. I was very good at wrapping gifts. I was great at wrapping gifts AND I liked doing it. I was pretty anal about how they were to look and how they would be placed and one year, I wrapped everything under the tree which was being given from someone in our house to someone in our house. Yes, even my own stuff- the stuff being given to me. She would secure it in a box and then I would wrap the box. I wrapped a lotta crap. And, the tradition continued for about three years or so, as best I remember.

I was young. I had fun. I enjoyed it. I was stupid.

So now, here I sit at home, procrastinating the baking I need to do for the kids' activities, procrastinating the presents I really need to wrap. I did about six or seven yesterday. Sure, that's not that much, but I am sick of it already.

Just. Don't. Want. To. Wrap.

Last year, I devised a plan to throw off the snoops. I drew a shape on the bottom of each gift which designated who would be receiving said gift. I thought I was clever, until several of the gifts were unwrapped in some fashion. I about blew my top, but they're kids and that's what they do.

This year, I think we are snoop proof. First, no gift is being wrapped in its true form. It is being boxed. No matter what, no matter how simple the container containing the gift, it will be contained yet again in another box to disguise the orginal packaging. Some of those items, prior to being contained in containers, are being wrapped in newspaper first and sealed with box tape. Yes, I said it, box tape and newspaper. It makes for ugly fingerprints, but ain't nobody knowing what they gettin' til they get. Once contained in different containers, they are being sealed with box tape. I went through almost a roll on the seven I did yesterday. Snoop now, Snoopy McSnoopersons!

The final step is the wrapping paper. They are being wrapped just as any other traditional present would be wrapped in commercial wrapping paper from the store. Some is new, some is old and they are coded. They are not marked, there are no name tags, but they are marked and I dare them to decode my system! They tried really hard yesterday when they came home from school. They failed and failed miserably! They tried everything- animals for one, trees for the other, shapes, bow color, shiny vs. matte finish bows, two-tone bows, living things, non-living things, box shape, box size. Haha! They don't know.

Oh, I also threw in this little tidbit- any package with damaged wrapping paper from the Snooptastics will be unwrapped and returned to the store for a full cash refund and the refunded cash will be used by me on me and no one else. It will be a charitable contribution to the Me Fund. I like it, don't you?

So, let's see if this works. I will not eventually be posting the code I used. I may need to recycle
it for future years.

Currently listening : Under Wraps By Jethro Tull Release date: 2005-04-26