Ryan and Moore

Current mood: thoughtful

OK, in our house we watch "The Real World," and no one has to remind me that there is no limit to the absence of much real reality going on in that house. Before you question my allowing my teenager and pre-teen to watch, "such a program," it is important to realize I use this show and others as teaching tools. I do not want to send my children out into the world without fully understanding the world they are going into. This is not necessarily a kind world. Sure, sheltered people can do just as well when they head off into adulthood as those who were completely unsheltered. I choose to see things from a different viewpoint. I teach my kids about what really is going on and allow them to ask questions and discuss it all with me (and Travis when he is available) and sometimes television helps me introduce topics to them. I think the way we do things is an introduction to the world while still sheltering them, since they have an open forum to talk about what they learn without having to be a part of it all. My kids are educated and they have formed opinions and most of their reactions have been in keeping with those of Travis and I, which makes things easier on us. I am sure at some point that may change and we'll deal with it if and when it all comes around.

So, over the last two weeks, "The Real World," (which is incredibly scripted and edited, just so you know) one of the main topics has been the activation of one of the housemates requiring his return to active duty. His name is Ryan Conklin and he was in the Army, and did deploy to Iraq as an Infantryman. He had discussed with his roommates the possibility that he could be reactivated as one of the terms of his separation from the Army was that he would be a part of the Individual Ready Reserve. Some of those in the IRR get recalled, some don't, but that potential for activation is there for all of them.

Last week on the show, Ryan's family informed him that he was being activated. They read the orders to him and it came out that he would be reporting in February to Fort Jackson. The kids instantly flipped. Remember, if you will, that we are eventually heading to Fort Jackson. It isn't all that big as far as Army posts go, so in teen language, Ryan will be at our house for cookouts or something, I am sure. I think they wonder if their father knows Ryan. The answer is no. Travis works at the Ordnance school, Ryan is Infantry- they are quite different.

Ryan's "Real World" housemates came up with such frivolity as, "Say you're gay and I'll be your boyfriend (I will refrain from jokes)." and "Break your leg so you wont have to go." There was more to it than that, but it is so incredible to me to see how young adults deal with the reality Ryan is facing. They have been so open and accepting of all the alternative lifestyles in the house (a trans-woman [I believe that is the title they give her], a gay man, and a woman who was in her first heterosexual relationship), yet most of the housemates have made fun of Chet for his religion (Mormon) and have very little understanding of the duty Ryan and others like him have served. Maybe those of faith and those who hold more "traditional" roles in our society are becoming the "alternative" now. Either way, the boy is going to do what he is being called to do because he is a young man of substance.

Eventually, he was able to come to terms with his return to the Army and impending deployment. In doing so, he was also able to help his roomies accept it. At the end of the episode this week, the roomies gave him a journal (he journals and writes his own songs incessantly) in which they had written their thoughts and feelings about him leaving and asked him to fill the journal while he was gone with his own words and expressions.

It seems that there are a lot of younger people who just can't fathom giving up their lives for service in our armed forces. Yes, there is also an incredible amount of those who do, for a myriad of reasons. They join for the sign on bonuses, the education, the job security and stability, to see the world, to escape from home, for the honor of service, to blow things up and others don't really know why they join at all. But, thank God they do.

Last week, the 978th Military Police lost another Soldier. CPL Gary Moore died from injuries sustained from a roadside bomb. He was 25 years old. From what the media said, he was the kind of Soldier who would volunteer for duty to allow those with families more time with their spouses and kids. He was single. CPL Moore is the second fatality from the 978th's 2008 deployment to Iraq. Prior to last June's deployment, the 978th had never lost a Soldier in Iraq. CPL Moore is being laid to rest this week in his hometown in Oklahoma.Travis texted me when he found out.

My first question was whether or not he knew the Corporal. He said he doesn't think he knew him. Still, the loss is felt by all of us. Even our kids took a minute to think about the things all military families think about when they learn of a Soldier's death.

Travis trains baby Soldiers every day. He has said before he serves so our kids wont have to. Amanda has no interest in the military for herself and Nolan has expressed, on occasion, that he might be interested. I am pretty confident Travis will try to steer him away from the military.

Amazing young people are all around my family. For that, I am grateful. And, for those who are not surrounded by that greatness, I hope you have the chance to shake hands some day with someone who has accepted the call to service, or to simply pause in the presence of a servicemember. If you support the wars or if you do not does not matter. I hope you have the opportunity to stop and think of these people who are just starting to live who are willing to risk it all for some purpose they believe in or chose to be a part of.