Greatness

Current mood: blessed

Most of us are lucky enough at one point or another to be in the presence of greatness. Some of us are even more lucky that greatness is a part of our regular lives. One of the hardest things to do is say goodbye to greatness. And when you love the one to whom you must say goodbye, the difficulty is compounded.

Bob Foster died Friday, July 4, 2008, shortly after 10:00 pm. Outside his hospital room, which was filled with the people he loved the most and the people who equally loved him, fireworks were jetting through the sky celebrating independence. Was it his going away party or the happiness in his release from the physical ailments which had plagued him for years, or does it even matter?

Bob is my brother-in-law. He is the husband of my sister, Treva. And, Bob is just one of those people who always seemed to be at ease just being Bob, regardless of who someone around him was trying to be or what mayhem might be about to unfurl.

The first time I met him was about six or seven years ago. He'd been married to my sister for a bit longer than that same span of time. Although I knew of Treva when I was growing up, she was my cousin then. Not until I was an adult did I know that biologically she was my half sister. It was wonderful to learn that half-genetics couldn't compete with the fact that I completely loved her. The bonus in the deal was Bob.

He was sitting at the counter between the kitchen and the family room watching his enormous TV when we arrived. Travis was off being Travis in a uniform somewhere and the kids and I came to invade on a Thursday night for three glorious days. Immediately I knew he was someone who made the world better simply because he was in it. He could talk about anything and was happy to share with you one of his many stories, but was equally content to listen to you sounding like an idiot telling yours, never once making you feel as stupid as you surely must have sounded. That never changed.

He didn't seem at all phased by my insane kids. Amanda was at a point where she was able to handle a weekend getaway chock-full of new people reasonably well, but Mr. Nolan was taxed to the limit on the emotion-ometer. For some reason when he was around his newly discovered uncle he toned it way down and seemed to find his center. That was just the Bob influence.

Nolan is now and has always been a relatively early riser. Treva and I had stayed up the first night we were there talking and laughing for hours and hours into the early morning so I was not exactly up and at 'em like Poppin' Fresh that morning. Nolan woke up and went to the family room where he found Bob. He clumsily climbed up in the chair at the counter next to Bob with his new toy, which was a gift from Aunt Treva. She told me she wasn't sure what he would like, but figured something from Spiderman would be a likely hit. Being the mother of a son herself, she sought out the, "ugliest thing they had on the shelf." It was perfect and Nolan loved it. So, in the early morning hours, Bob on one stool and Nolan on the other, over a Spiderman action figure and the morning news, they got to know one another.

Bob had been asking Nolan questions and spurring the conversation a bit. Nolan was happy to answer him and talk about this and that, all the while calling him "Uncle Tom." Immediately after one of several references to Uncle Tom, Bob gently mentioned to Nolan, "Its Bob." Nolan looked up at him from behind his long eyelashes and squooshed his forehead a bit, softly nodded at Bob and said, "Its OK, you can call me Bob." That was the last of that name business and their comfortable conversation continued until Aunt Treva came to the kitchen to make breakfast.

That was Bob. Gentle, sincere, accepting and comfortable Bob.

Last year was the first time my Travis met Bob. I had told him at least a million times that he would love Bob from the moment they met. I was right. En route to a triathlon in some po'dunk town in northern New Mexico we stopped at Treva and Bob's house to drop our mother for a visit and have dinner. While Treva wrangled the kids, Mom and I and Cindy (her daughter-in-law and my neice-in-law) into the kitchen Travis and Bob were kickin' it in the family room. We all had knives chopping and slicing, spoons mixing and glasses being filled with ice but from the few glances we had of the guys, we all knew it was kismet. Bob and Travis were a hit! Travis being of relatively mild manner (much like Bob), simply said after we left, "That's one cool guy." I later learned that Bob held Travis in the same regard.

All who knew him could easily see that he was a compassionate, engaging, interesting and generous man who loved my sister and their three boys. He was confident without being boastful and sure without being cocky. Without even trying, he was a gentle calming spirit.

And quietly, surrounded by love, Bob slipped away.

What is not quiet in our hearts is the love of and memory of a truly great man.

Currently listening : Gentle on My Mind By Glen Campbell Release date: 2001-10-09