Mascara and Lipstick

Current mood: determined

Things just haven't been going my way lately and most of us know it. In our entryway, immediately across from the front door there are mirrored closet doors. Most people have to take a step back when they enter because they are met with a full-on reflection of themself upon entry. They weren't our choice, they were here when we moved in and have stayed for any number of reasons. They really aren't important except that they are important to my story here.

Tuesday night Nolan took an odd hit at football. It was kind of a freak accident. Yes, one of the ideas behind football is to knock the fire out of your opponent. And, no, I am not one of those football mommies who thinks my angel is about to begin hemmoraging after every practice, including the ones with no pads and hitting. I pretty much have the idea that if you want to play sports like football and wrestling, you kinda gotta take your lickin's and all. So, the hit did concern me. In four years of contact football we've never had a real injury but Coach actually had Nolan sit out a few plays (and eventually made him lay down as well). As a play was wrapping up a boy's helmet hit Nolan's chin, under and inside the facemask, knocking his jaw in a very odd fashion. I figured once we got home and he got dinner and a shower he'd feel better. Not so much. At 8:45 we left for the ER. No big deal, the doc agreed with me and told me he'd be sore and a bit swollen for a day or two, but I was smart to bring him in to get checked because it was above the shoulders. We left just before 1:00, which was pretty much what I expected. I didn't mind.

I was very sleepy at the ER but I would not allow myself to doze. Once we got home and Nolan went to bed, I did as well. Then, I couldn't sleep. That's normal for me these days. I think I finally drifted off around 2:45, but had to wake up at around 4:00 for a potty call from the dogs. I got up, put them out, brought them in, went back to bed and got up for the day at 5:45. I went all day full-steam with work and the house and errands, then came football again. That was fine too, but I was in a totally bad moooood.

When we got home, I walked and and flipped on the hall light and caught a glimpse of myself in my ginormous mirrors. I looked like death. Seriously. No makeup, hair a mess, sweats, worn out and looking it. I made a decision at that point. "Tomorrow, I will wear makeup."

I always wear makeup. I at least have on foundation or powder at all times. My health stuff has caused me to have some serious issues with my skin and the foundation and powder help cover that and even things out a bit. The rest of the makeup aisle might or might not be visited on any given day. Today I was to put everything on.

When I got ready I realized I was out of powder and mascara. My budget has been in ICU for a while now but I had to run to Kmart for birthday stuff for the daughter (yep, 15) so I grabbed powder and mascara as well. Prolly shouldn't'a, but I did anyway. I needed it. I really, really needed it.

I've always been a girlie girl. I love shoes and purses and makeup and clothes and pedicures and fake nails (which I gave up) and its been that way since the dawn of time. I guess I've just been absorbed in everything else so I let myself go.

You know, the mascara and new powder and lipstick actually helped me feel better. I felt put together and just like I was me again. Well, me with an incredibly uncomfortable living arrangement.

Sure, it seems shallow and I would really like to think there is more to me than just the superficial, but something about getting back to looking more polished made me feel more polished. I kinda think I might have been a little happy. Sorta.

So, tomorrow, I am putting on my makeup again. Even if I don't have anything to do or anywhere to go.

Just cause.

Who knew a little makeup would save me from wallowing in self-pity?

Currently listening : Skin Deep By Lipstick Magazine Release date: 2008-08-05