FaceSpace-MyBook-BlogHoo

Current mood: contemplative

Wow, these "social networking" websites are really starting to absorb a lot of my time. When I joined MySpace a few years back it was because a dear friend was driving me nuts. Then I joined Yahoo 360 and started blogging there. That was great until their bugs got the better of everyone. Next I set up a Bogger page and I still contribute there as well as the MySpace. And then, for some reason, I went to Facebook and I import my blog there as well. I'm so hooked.

This has been wonderful for me as a military spouse. Most of my friends are fairly transient, in a way we haven't been. I usually have a timeline for my friendships of about two years, since everyone but us has had the chance to move away. Yes, we'll hopefully be moving too at some point, but not right now. These sites have enabled me to keep in touch with all my friends who have moved away and are still near and dear to my heart.

What amazes me even more is the number of people I have gotten back in touch with from school. Holy cow! I am having SO much fun! I was excited to get to go back home for our ten year reunion and now that the twenty is on the horizon, I am shocked. But, I've learned a lot.

There were people in high school I couldn't stand. I am thinking it bordered on hate in some cases. Some of those people hated me first or were hating me back, some were people who I didn't know but didn't like anyway and some were people who were very different from me and thus, dislike. Now that I truly understand hate, I try to veer away from it whenever possible.

What I have learned is that these are some pretty decent people. They are the kind of people I would be friends with today. I've grown a lot. I've matured a lot. My life experiences have enabled me to see things very differently from the way I did in high school. I think I like me a whole lot more today. Here are some more things I've noted:

BOYS: In school, I wasn't the girl every boy wanted to go out with, but I was a great buddy to a good number of guys. Looking back, I think that was better for me. At the time, I desperately wanted to be the girl guys "liked" "that way," but never was, AND if I was, the guys NEVER let me know (so, you have some explaining to do, why is that?). I had a lot of self-esteem problems from that in school because people close to me were "those" girls and I hated that I wasn't. But, I am OK with all that now. Heck, if I had been the type guys asked out, I wouldn't have been the type that would ask a guy out and I might not have ever had that first date with my husband. And, when I read the pages of the boys I knew back then, I realize what sweethearts most of these men have become. They are men who love their wives tremendously and who strive to give their kids great lives. They are open and accepting and I for one want to hug you all just for being good guys.

GIRLS: Again, I had issues. I was a spaz. I know that now like I knew it then, but that was who I was. I spent most of high school disliking some girls simply because I was jealous of how beautiful they were and that the boys really did "like them" more than they "liked" me in "that way." That is so hard for me to swallow today. Now, I am able to see that my life has turned out exactly as it should have. Were I different in school I would be very different now, and there is no trade in the world equitable enough for who I am now. So, if I was ever a cow to you or annoyed you (because that was often my goal), I apologize. Having my own teenager has taught me that kids really do go brain dead in puberty. I see who you are today and how you relate to your families and I think it is beautiful. I think you are beautiful too, all of you.

I wish I could go back and remain friends with the boys I dated back then or the girls I burned bridges with. I wouldn't still pine after the boys and that stalker type is not my thing, but seriously, how immature was I? These are the people who helped formulate my foundation and they helped make me who I am. Obviously at one point, each of these people with whom I had friendships or relationships were valuable to me. Now I wonder why I lost sight of that value.

So, here's to you, everyone I used to know. I've missed you and wondered "who" you all became since we graduated and grew up and some of us moved away. I really do love you guys!

Currently listening:Grease - Deluxe EditionBy Olivia Newton-JohnRelease date: 2003-09-23