You KNOW Me

Today was the Realtor's agency tour of the house. I don't know how that went, but I do know that as I was driving down the main drag outside our 'hood on the way to the house I saw my Realtor driving in the same direction. Yes, I am certain it was him. He's the only guy around with a red Ford truck and a yellow and green magnet on the side that reads, "Elect Brian Burds- City Council, District 4." He passed me, got in the turn lane at the light and went into our area. I drove down to another street and circled back to the house. Sure enough, an hour after he was to have been done at my house, he was bringing someone back to it with him. I watched them go in from down the street and then went and got a Diet Coke from Whataburger. I don't know what happened, but hey, he's bringing 'em in and that's all I ask. Sooner or later someone is going to be the right person and we can't find them if they aren't walking through my door. Pom-pons, ladies and gentlemen. Wave them high and proud for Brian! Oh, and vote for him- early voting begins April 26.

So, anyway, back to the day's story... I left Phoenix, the 15 year old Husky at home cuz she wont bug nobody that wont bug her. I took the little dogs with me, who will bark when peeps are here. Peeps were on the way and I didn't want them bugging the peeps. As I was pulling out of the neighborhood, I was on the phone with my mother when the other line beeped in. I didn't get switched over in time, but it was Nolan's school. Phone calls from school during the day are rarely wonderful news. He left me a voicemail and as I was listening, I got mad. Crazy-mad. Why? Read on...

Nolan didn't sound great, he sounded very tired and boogery. He said, "Mom, this is Nolan (duh, I know his voice, even if it is boogery). I am in the nurse's office because I think I am getting a cold. She took my tembater and it was 98.7, which isn't a fever. I have a lot of boogers and I- (I hear static on the line, and then the voice changes)" "Ma'am, please call the nurse's office. The number is 434- blah-blah-blah-blah." She didn't know that I know THAT particular number by heart. She got it wrong. That wasn't the problem. She took the phone out of my kids' hand and shut him up.

Here's the deal; if my kid's condition is such that it warrants a call home, fine. I don't mind. He's my kid and when he needs me, I am there. When he is sick, I care for him. If he is boogery, he gets Kleenex and Sudafed and Claratin and whatever else he might need. Regardless of whether or not he picked up his dirty socks, he's going to get what he needs. NO. MATTER. WHAT. But, if his condition does indeed warrant a call home, and you have him make the initial contact (again, fine), then you let the kid say what he is saying. That's all. Just let him talk. If you aren't going to make the call yourself and initiate dialogue adult to adult, then don't take the friggin' phone out of my kid's hand and sigh into the handset and ask me to call you. He was in the middle of a sentence. That is rude by any standard. I work too hard on the kid to have you help him un-learn his manners. As big a pain in the nalgas as he can be, and he can be un pain in the nalgas muy gigante (say it HEE-gahn-tay), he has manners and they are awesome manners. Teachers who have not loved my son have even pointed out that he is most respectful of adults. I want him to stay that way and you aren't helping. I called right back as soon as I heard the message and spoke with the nurse who told me he thought he had a cold. Then she told me that he asked to go home. Now, I knew that was a crock. My kids know if they come home from school sick, they're going to bed. There will be no GameBoys, no Wii, no TV, no books, no Legos, no Magnetix, and no nothin' else except their pillow and blankie on their bed. I don't screw around. I asked to speak with him because I knew his allergy meds (which I was certain was the problem) were at the house, where Brian was with the Realtors and where I couldn't be. I told Nolan he would have to wait until I could get back to the house and he was fine with it. When I asked him if he asked to go home, he denied having asked. He even told me he knew he would have to go to bed and all he wanted was something to help him feel better. What a cow.

I went to the school and had him called to the office so I could give him his allergy medicine. He had reddish eyes and a boogery voice. He took his pill and gave me a hug and when I asked him if the nurse had taken the phone from his hand, he said she did. When I asked him if she was rude to him, he said she wouldn't let him get within five feet of her desk. I had him clarify what that meant and he said that he came in and walked up to her desk to ask for her help and she held her hand up and gestured for him to step back and then she told him he had to stay five feet back from the desk. What the heck? This is an elementary school. ELEMENTARY! Maybe he doesn't want everyone within earshot to hear him request the hurse's help. What if the problem were of a personal nature? Certainly she's heard of the Privacy Act? What a royal cow. Five feet. What is that for? Is she trying to avoid coming in contact with a kid who might have something infectious? Ding, ding, hear the bell, moron, you're a nurse. If she doesnt' want her desk bombarded by kids, then manage the area well. It isn't that hard. It is a school. Most of the attendees are well accustomed to things like line making and the standing therein and the mindboggling practice of shushing when shushed. Cow. COW. COOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Moo.

As I was leaving, I made a request to the receptionist that an administrator call me. I am NOT having some friggin' nurse treat my kid that way. Ever. I never thought I would say it, but I miss Nurse Trudy, who is out of school because she was mauled by dogs. Stupid dogs. Stupid substitute nurse cow.

She is but the next in a long line of people who had to learn the hard way NOT to treat my kids badly.