A Calming

We first met her the day she was born. Randy took us to the corner where she and her siblings were nursing while Marlene held our curious Amanda. Her mother, Misty, had known us for quite some time so she watched us cautiously as she allowed us to pick her up and greet her and welcome her into our family. When we gave her back, Misty carefully inspected her and began to clean her, and then Misty allowed us to pet her while we thanked her for being so generous to us. That was September 15, 1994.

We got to visit her whenever we wanted since Randy and Marlene lived just around the corner from our quarters at Fort Riley. She came to know us and her eyes were always lit up with excitement when she saw us. She was the oldest of the litter and bigger, even, than her brothers. She was the "little mother" of the litter.

She actually came to live with us the first week of November and from that moment she fit right into our home. She loved our Lahsa Apso Mimi and loved our baby, even though it took a little while for Amanda to warm up to her. Once they did team up, they were always together. Amanda even used to climb in her kennel and close the door, at which, Phoenix would bark her high-pitched "telling on you" bark she would come to be known for. Amanda would giggle uncontrolably at that.

She was a runner and would bolt out the door whenever she had the chance, especially in her younger years. Travis loved to take her out when he ran, but he never quite got the chance to do that as much as he wanted. She was his dog and she knew it, but she so loved me and Amanda.

She did great when we moved from Kansas to El Paso and then six weeks later to Glendale. While we were staying with my parents during the Haiti deployment, she scratched up the wood floors and managed to cause my father to fracture his foot. She escaped regularly and the neighbors came to know her and love her for her sweetness. They would call when she would walk up in their garage to hang out with them and then remind me of what a great dog she was.

Once we moved back to El Paso, she seemed to settle right down and that was just before her second birthday. She had mellowed and become a really great dog. She loved to walk with us and run and allowed our toddler kiddo to pull her around the house constantly, never complaining.

We lived on Biggs Field when Nolan was born and she instantly took a liking to the baby. She never growled at me when I came close to him, but everyone else was fair game. She would squeeze between Nolan and Travis when they would lay on a blanket and play and then put her "arm" over the baby and fall asleep, or she would rest her chin on his tummy while he kicked and cooed. When we would get ready to leave and we would have Nolan in his carseat, she would rest her chin on the edge of the seat and "babysit" him until it was time for her to go to her box so we could leave.

As he grew, she learned to love every baby and most toddlers who would visit our house. She loved when we moved to the house on Garcia Circle because she had a great back yard to roam that had no stickers and always had some kind of shade to lay in. She would try to eat our tomato plants and later our watermelon plants and happily jog away when we caught her, as if nothing had happened. She also refused to let me open the door late at night. She would stand between me and the door and growl with the hair on her back on-end if I ever reached for the knob. She also loved to escort the kids around the back yard, always watching them.

She lovingly accepted every dog I brought into the fold, and grieved for our Mimi when we had to put her to sleep at the age of thirteen. She adapted well to the new house and to Travis' coming and going for schools and deployments. During his second visit to Iraq she bacame deathly ill with an infection and had to have emergency surgery, from which she eventually recovered. She had to stay at the vet clinic for almost a week before she was allowed to come home and in that time, she won the hearts of everyone there, like always.

About a year later she began to have problems with her rear legs. We took her to the vet and were lucky enough to see Dr. McCabe at that visit. He knew everyting about her and suggested x-rays to see what was going on. He told us her spine was calcifying and that eventually she would lose feeling in her rear legs. He also told us what her body would eventually do as a result of the problem. He put her on medication which she was never able to adapt to, so for the sake of her digestive system and at the doctor's recommendation, we helped her lose five pounds and put her on fish oil. She did really well. Dr. McCabe told us then that her eyes still had a lot of life in them and she would let us know with her eyes when she was ready to go.

That was almost two years ago and I have been so grateful for that time. We have all had the chance to watch her age gracefully and loving her has taught the kids so much. When she had rough days, they would encourage her gently or wait for her patiently to get up so they could put her outside. They would lay on the floor with her when she needed extra affection or walk her to the corner and back so she could exercise her legs a bit. When she would fall, they learned how to help her up without hurting her. They loved her through those last two years. And up until last week, she still wanted to play and "tell on them" with her silly bark.

She'd had a rough weekend. She fell once badly Saturday and twice Sunday. At bedtime last night, it took Amanda and I half a slice of her favorite whole wheat bread and half an hour to coax her to her kennel. She didn't wake me up in the middle of the night to go potty like usual, and when the alarm went off at 6 this morning and I realized she hadn't barked for me to come get her at all, I knew something was wrong. She barely made it out of her box and it took a lot of guidance to help her outside. She fell again when she came in and I knew what I had to do.

I got her back in her bed, took Nolan to the doctor for his allergies, took him to school and asked Kori to help me get her to the vet. Phoenix always hated to be picked up, but she allowed me to do it today when I realized she would never be able to walk out to the truck. We got her settled and went to the vet.

The doctors at Northeast Veterinary were wonderful, like always, and allowed me to say my goodbyes and love her to the end. The doctor agreed the spark was gone from her eyes today. She never fought the catheter or her injections and she went quietly, with love.

I will truly miss our girl.