Trying to Hold it All Together

Current mood: scared

Today it happened. I've dreaded it. I've sensed it all along. I was right and even I have impressed myeslf with my ability to see the future. And now, I want to puke.

Just like every day, I conversed with my kids about their days. We were in the car on the way to wrestling while they chatted about Mrs. P and science and the elementary science fair and the homecoming game (yes, homecoming for middle schoolers- its dumb) and chair placements in band. I thought we were done but I was so flipping wrong. The kids weighed in (because the doctor demanded it) and were happy with their results and Nolan toddled off to the wrestling mat while Amanda and I headed for the cardio-loft. She got on a bike and I on an elliptical next to one another. "Everybody Loves Raymond" reruns were on the TV in front of us so we giggled through our 40 minutes of aerobic bliss together. That was actually kind of cool. So when we were done we wiped down our machines and gathered our bags and headed back downstairs to watch the rest of wrestling practice. Just as we got to the ground floor Amanda turned to me and said, "It happened today."

Being the mother of a teenaged daughter I had to fight to keep my heart in my chest and not in my throat because it doesn't take too much to send a mother over the edge when she hears a phrase like, "It happened today." She's already had one normal but important, "It happened today." and I manged to live through that. I knew any additional happenings would really be big deals. Yeah, it was.

After gathering myself together in .5 seconds I was able to turn to her and say, "What are you talking about? What it?" And then my heart broke.

She said, "Jommy (not his real name) asked me out today."

Amazingly enough, I didn't fall down screaming and wailing. I managed to appear unwavered and collected. Allow me to assure you I was most certainly neither. So I asked a few key questions and we talked for a bit about it. And then... I asked her what she said to him about it.

That's when I got the first glimmer that we mighta got something right in the parenting arena. She said, "I told him I would think about it because I knew I needed to ask you and Dad."
If I felt like crying before, I really felt like it then. So I told her (instantly, by the way, after hearing she wanted our blessing) that it was only because we were familiar with Jommy and his family that it would be OK with me if it was OK with her dad.

She texted him on the way home to ask him to call her so she could talk about it with him. He called her back in a few minutes and told her it was fine with him.

I sense many anti-anxiety pills in my future.

Oh, and trips to the mall too.

Crap.