Maybe Just a Little Ironic

Current mood: sad

My kid doesn't know her MySpace password. She has no way of knowing it because her default email on MySpace is the email address I use when I am working on contracts. I like it that way and she knows that if she is going to have any time at all on the computer, she's going to let me have things my way. She also knows that I lurk on her page. I sign in and I look at all her "friends" and I read her messages (I don't even really delete stuff I don't like unless I tell her I did, which I rarely delete anything). She's known since she got the stupid MySpace page that I did, so no one has any right to say a word. You may call it intrusive or whatever you like. I call it smart parenting.

I don't hang there all the time. I don't hang there as often as I feel I should. But I do hang there. And many of her friends know it too.

Today I was lurking/hanging/invading her privacy when I saw a new friend request. I wasn't sure who it was at first but as soon as I got on that page, I knew, even though the profile picture was unidentifiable. I don't know the girl well, but I have often been confused by her.

She and Amanda had a group in common a while back. Her family has a few things in common with ours so we see them reasonably often but I don't know her parents and I have never felt as if I would like them if I did. For the sake of this blog and my own convenience, we'll call this child Sara. Within the last several months Sara's family moved into our neighborhood so I've seen Sara more frequently as has Amanda. No big deal.

My kid and Sara have very little in common other than the group to which La Princessa once belonged. Even now that they will be at the same high school together, there wont be much they'll share, other than the fact that my daughter just loves this girl. That's OK. I don't love the idea, but it is ok. (Sidebar-keep in mind a recent blog of mine)

Sara thinks I hate her. That is not true. If she ever asked me I would tell her it isn't true. BUT, I would also tell her that I don't understand her. And, if she chose to explain things to me, I would listen. I can't promise I would understand her or the things she does any better were she to explain, but I would listen.

What confuses me most is that Sara is really quite pretty, but for the last two or three years she has been on this "quest" to make herself different. Very different. Startlingly different. It started with just a little bit of marking on her clothes and dyeing her hair and has escalated to extreme perrot/harlequin style makeup, dreds, odd corsetts, pants with legs large enough to comfortably house a three-ring circus, chains, holes and all kinds of things. Sure, this can be attributed to self-expression. Or it could be something else.

I vote for something else.

I think it might be that she is seeking attention, good or bad doesn't matter, as long as someone at least looks. I've been looking for a while now, but maybe it isn't me Sara wants to see her.
I noticed on her page that her status was "in a relationship," which doesn't mean much for the average high-schooler but then I saw that it said "Children: expecting." I initially blew it off until I looked at her pictures and saw her ultrasound pictures.

Wow.

So she is pregnant. She's less than two years older than my kid. She might be old enough to drive but I don't think she does. But, I guess she's old enough to be a parent. I can't quite wrap my head around that, but then, biology doesn't always coincide with logic.

Now I wonder about this baby. I don't know if she'll keep the baby or adopt the baby out and it isn't my concern, really. But I am concerned. If she decides to raise it- What kind of life will a baby have if it is sharing it's room with it's mommy for it's first two or three (or more) years? It wont be in a smoke-free home (many aren't, and that is not my business either, but these grandparents both smell like something that would put the Marlboro man to shame), it wont have any personal space, it will have a mother who is desperately trying to be seen and will go to school with its aunts and uncles, it may not have strong parental guidance, and I could go on for days. I just hurt.

Amanda was a little shocked too.

And then, tonight was the season premiere for a new show on ABC Family called "The Secret Life of the American Teenager." Basically the show is built around two families. The first is the family of two teen girls who are completely different from one another. One is the good girl and one teeters on the edge of acceptance with her parents. The other family is a family of devout Christians who also have two children. Their oldest is a boy named Tom who has Downs Syndrome, and their daughter is an "everything girl." You know the type- cheerleader, beautiful, nice (holy crap). There are other characters and they all have their own challenges as well. It is a little campy and pushes the Christian viewpoint maybe a little much for some, but this really seems like it is going to be a great show. And the main storyline revolves around teen pregnancy.

The three of us talked about it all for a while tonight. I guess that's the point of it all.

I just hope that next time I see a kid who really wants someone to look at them that I can.

Currently listening : All at Once By Young People Release date: 2006-03-21